RFUAX
by sparkiproductions
Summary: i got bored... and had this really weird dream and with the help of others...we produced this. it is a really funny story. rxr plz. i blame the sugar.
1. Chapter 1

1

**Time for the really fucked up anime cross over**

**By Tanka and Hinoko (reference to chat rooms, fangirls, and ears)**

**I do not own Naruto, Bleach, Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy X2, Inuyasha, Death Note, Harry Potter, Gir or, Taco Bell (damn I want a taco) or any other thing that shows up.**

**I blame the sugar**

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Hidan, Kakuza, Sasori, Zetsu, Deidara, and Tobi were all standing around Pein, "You know, this whole collect demons thing…IS NOT WORKING, UN!!" Deidara told him. 

"IT IS TAKING TO GOD DAMN LONG!!"

"JASHIN SAYS WE NEED A NEW PLAN!!"

"AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T COST TOO MUCH!!"

"I WANT TO EAT PEO-" Just as Zetsu said that, Demyx flew through the wall and knocked Zetsu over. "Ooh, lunch."

"Waaah!!" Demyx jumped up and hid behind Deidara.

"Who are you and why touching my Deidara (reference to Deidara's Secret)?" Sasori said, glaring at Demyx. Demyx backed up slowly, went over to the wall, and stuck his head through a black portal thingy. "Hey guys, it's fine, you can come through."

Then ten guys, and one girl, stepped through the wall, all wearing black coats. "Um, who are you peoples?" Xaldin asked, looking around.

"Well we're obviously not in the real world. These people are too anime-y-ish and what not…"

Pein stared at them while they argued amongst themselves. 

"We should recruit them."

"No they would probably rat us out."

"They're obviously bad guys. Look at their cloths. Back coats with red clouds and slashes in their little forehead protector headband thingies."

"What are those things for anyway? They have no use."

"Well they have to have some use or else they wouldn't be wearing them."

"We wear these dumb coats. They have no use."

"They distinguish us from everyone else."

"Wouldn't that be a bad thing? Don't we want to blend in?"

"No, because we're Nobodies."

Pein then saw Hidan walk over to the wall they came out of, feel around it, and turn and say, "JASHIN sent us recruits!!"

"Wait, I know you peoples!!" Demyx said, waving his arms around. "You're the Akatsuki from Naruto!!"

"Naruwhato?" Larxene asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Naruto!! You know, with the ninja and the explosives and the shuriken and the Jounin and every thing!!" Demyx said, hopping from foot to foot while trying to act out all the things he was saying. And everyone stared at him like he was crazy. And that's when Konan busted in, "Who are you and why are you in my house?"

They all looked at her and everyone in the Akatsuki, except Deidara, hid behind Pein and everyone in the Organization hid behind Xemnas. "Wait, why do you leave me to the wrath of the scary blue-haired chick?!" Xemnas asked trying to get behind someone else.

"Because you're the big bad fearless leader"

"But I fear women"

"Good," Deidara and Konan both said

"Wait aren't you a dude in the show?" Demyx asked, looking at Deidara.

"Yes, but in real life I'm a girl," Deidara said.

"S-so we're Organization T-thirteen a-and we're trying t-to get to the r-real world s-so we can take it over…" Xemnas said, still trying to hide behind someone else.

"The real world?"

"Yes, the real world, so we can torture the people who control us so we can win!!" 

"Mom…" Tobi said coming in and looking at the Organization. "There's screaming coming from Zetsu-kun's room…"

"What?"

"There's screaming coming from Zetsu-kun's room!"

Konan turned to Zetsu, "What the hell is in your room!?"

"Dinner…"

"So you're planning to take over the world?"

"The real world"

"So you need any help"

"Sure…I guess" 

"JASHIN"

"SHUT THE HELL UP" Everyone turned and threw something at Hidan.

"JASH—" and Zetsu ate him

"Thank you Zetsu……now I'm board" Deidara said looking around the room "Tobi go blow something up"

"Okay"

"What are you doing he might blow up something important"

"So it gets rid of him"

"True s'go"

Then they all went through a new portal.


	2. Chapter 2

1**RFUACX chapter 2**

**see disclaimer on 1 **

**now to our heros**

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Rikku, Yuna, and Pain were standing at the top of a hole that was going to take then to the farplane. Rikku looked at her cousin and friend, "so who's goin' in first"

"The smallest, yellowest, most annoying, and lightest" Pain shrugged

"B-b-but that's me" Rikku stammered

Pain picked up Rikku and threw her into the hole then jumped in along with Yuna.

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Rikku fell for a few minutes when she was blinded by a bright white light. When she landed in a room full of people. She looked around for a few minutes she saw that there were about five people in the room. When whatever she landed on started to talk. "Hey there's a crotch in my face, pretty nice view" she jumped and ran across the room and hid behind the closest person she could find, a guy with brown hair, and hid behind him. She heard someone yell 'hey he's mine' then some psycho blond chick came after her. Then she was in a protective bubble of sand. _Wow magic sand that's cool. _She thought to her self as the bubble went away. When the girl attacked her again the sand picked her up and put her behind a girl that was at least six inches taller than her, had snow white hair and two dog ears sticking out of the top of her head.

Yuna fell through of the roof in to the room and landed on a woman with blond hair fashioned into four pig tails. Who picked her up and threw her into the middle of the room, here pain then landed on her.

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Tanka stood in the living room in total shock, three people from a video game she had played just fell through the ceiling. She watched as Rikku sat rubbing her butt muttering some thing in Al bhed. _I have some interrogating to do._

"You have thirty second's to tell me why you are here"

"W-w-well...um..." Yuna stammered

"Twenty seconds. tic. tock. tic. tock. Time's running out."

"We jumped into a hole trying to get to the farplane"

tanka sighed and shook her head, "great now I have to figure out how to get you home."

Rikku gave Tanka a quizzical look, "this doesn't look like the farplane. And what's up with the dog people"

tanka snapped at her in al bhed, "muug pedlr e's y fumv" (look bitch I'm a wolf)

Rikku, Pain, and Yuna looked at her in complete shock before being taking out by.. A duck. Not any duck but Donald Duck. Goofy and Sora both landed on them next. Fallowed by Leon and a relatively much shorter woman clinging to him.

Tanka's left eye started to twitch. "All right why the hell are you people showing up in my house."

sora gave her a quizzical look "hey this isn't the realm of darkness... and what the hell are you supposed to be... some kind of dog lady"

now the vain on her forehead was pulsating; and she had that murderous look on her face, which could scare even the most hardened criminal. She looked at him directly in the eye, "do you want me to kill you." she said in a smooth tone.

"N-n-n-n-no"

"Good," she surveyed the room_ so now there's a Rikku, Yuna, Pain, Sora, Donald, Goofy, Leon, and a..., _"who the fuck are you" she pointed to the girl stuck to Leon.

She let go of Leon, "I am Reyana"

"Whatever why are you in my house?"

"We were trying to get to the realm of darkness"

"Well you missed"

"No, I didn't notice"

hinoko got up off the couch and stepped between the two, "look no there's no need to fight in the living room if you going to please take it to a pre-destroyed room. Or we could act like civalised people... ish and calmly talk this over."

Tanka looked at herr sister, "being cival is for squares, and I'm a triangle" she said lunging at Reyana. Which got her a sift kick in the gut from the alien girl. Hinoko shook her head at her sister's stupidity and grabbed the collar of her sister's jacket. "Let go of me let me knoc some sense into these fool that jump into random holes and portals. There's no logic in it, 'ooh a portal let see whats on the other side. Maybe my frends are on the other side playing checkers.' yeah that's seems so smart. And, here's my favorite 'let me jump in to a giant hole to find a person that I don't know' and ..." she con tinued to rant for a few more hours when there was a knock at the door.


	3. Chapter 3

1**RFUACX 3**

**To any one reading here's three still with the good guys **

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Hinoko opened the door and Tobi came flying through the door, "hiiiiiiiiiii, Hinoko and Tanka and friends and people I've never seen before." he said as he knocked her over.

"Hi Tobi what are you doing, get off me" Hinoko got up and brushed her self off, "what are you doing here"

"Well some peoples in funny black coat thingies came through the wall and they and the guys. Were talking 'bout the real world or something. Then they told me to go blow something up and when I got back they were all gone, and left me here all alone... so I came to visit"

Sora ran over to him, "Those guys that you met did they have long black coats with little metal hood pulls on them."

"Yeah"

"Ha, so the organization did come here. But, why would they come to a dump of a world like this"

Just as he got the sentence out he got pummeled by Tanka, Naruto, Temari, Tenten, and Gaara. Ino went to attack Rikku, just as she got to Rikku... Anko came crashing through the window. "Hi!! Tanka, what ya doing"

"Beating the shit out of a small child"

"Sounds like fun, can I join in"

"Sure!" She turned back to find everyone obviously bored with it. "God damn it... Gaa-gaa-kun?"

"Wha?"

"Why did you attack said small child? You're always so... impassive..."

"Idk... 'Cause he's small, squishy, and cute. It needs to die."

Runs over, picks up and hides behind Rikku and screams, "MEAT SHIELD!! THE GAYNESS IS BAD!!"

"Gaara, another yoai moment?" Tanka asked, giving him wide, innocent looking eyes.

"No!! Small children annoy me."

"I AM FIFTEEN FOR YOUR INFORMATION!! NO SMALL CHILD IN THAT!!" Sora screamed, waving his arms.

"Are you still a virgin?" Anko asked.

"Maybe..."

"For that reason alone, you are a small child." Tanka stated, in a matter-of-fact way.

"But- but- but- but–" Yuna said concern in her eyes that had nothing to do with Sora.

"Wow, I would have thought she'd been laid before." Tanka said, conversationally.

"Yeah, me, too..." Réyana said, adding, "Although it's easy to tell that Rikku is the whore of the group."

"I resent that! That is Pain!" Rikku said, pointing angrily at Réyana.

"What?!"

"Weeeell, you... have... Nooj, Barliali, Gippal... and yah..." Rikku stated

"I'm not a whore... I just have options"

Anko ran over to her "haaaaay, I like you. I have options too. Let's be friends"

"... o...k"

"Yay!! I'm bored where's the squishy thing that need to be beaten"

"Over there" Tanka and Réyana said pointing to Sora. Who again hid behind Rikku.

After they beat Sora again, Hinoko got up, "so now that we've beaten all small children, in the room. What are we going to do about the group of homicidal maniacs that will probably wreak havoc on the real world?"

"Easy" Tanka shrugged "we go stop them"

"What it's not like we have a machine that will put us in the real world at a taco bell or something." said some girl in the back of the room she had spikeyish dark blue hair put back in a ponytail.

"Who the hell are you and how did you get here."

"... I don't remember how I got here, but as for who I am I'm Kira. I have been here for about an hour and a half... but I had to pee and got lost looking for the bath room."

"Well any way," Tanka said, "I do have a machine that will take us to the real world... though I don't think it will take us to taco bell."

"What!?" Hinoko gave here sister a look like she had three heads, "how did you build that"

"With all the left over parts from computers and other things I've destroyed."

"Um... ho many have you destroyed," cocking an eyebrow Réyana asked.

"This year" Hinoko sighed "forty two, she gets pissed off and smashes it or sticks an explosive tag to it."

"...o...k... so does it work?"

"For about two seconds. So we are going to need some extra energy...HINOKO MAKE ME A STEAK"

"What?! How is that going to help?"

"Trust me"

"I'm scared"

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In the basement an hour later Tanka gathered every one they would need and would be the easiest to hide, Which consisted of Hinoko, Réyana, Kira, Anko, Rikku, Temari, Sora, Pain, Shikamaru, Leon, Naruto, Yuna, Neji, Tenten, Kiba, Shino, Chouji, Ino, and Hinata.

Tanka was waiting for them finishing up work on a giant... hamster wheel.

Hinoko realized what the plan was and went up stairs to get the steak. Tanka got everyone ready to go and convince Chouji into the hamster wheel and Shino behind the controls. Tanka looked Shino directly in the eye and began giving instructions on what he was supposed to do, "as soon as we go in do not turn off the machine or I will personally murder you. Now when he's tired let him get off the wheel and give him the steak. Got it"

"Yeah"

"Good, al right put out the bait"

As Hinoko put down the steak, drowned in barbecue sauce, Chouji ran full speed toward it. The portal began to buzz and whirr, after a moment a blue beam popped up and the adventuring group walked in... and Shino shut off the machine and blew it up happy to finally be rid of that dog bitch.

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Tanka heard the whirr cut off, and thought to her self, _that mother fucking son of a bitch!_ She saw Hinoko next to her and felt people piling into the room, and soon was against the wall with barely enough room to move. They wall began to move behind and she realized it was a door and quickly realized it was a bathroom. From the smell of old refried beans and greasy tacos that wafted in to the room, they were in Tacobell.

She pushed against the door, "um… the bathroom is closed for cleaning come back in ten minutes" She waited for who ever was on the other side of the door to go away and turned back to the full room of people behind her, "I have good news and bad news. Good news we made it to the real world, bad news we are stuck in the girls' bathroom at Tacobell."

"Oh great were stuck in the capital of nasty cheep Mexican food," Kira sighed

"Did someone say taco!!" Tenten exclaimed.

"And we brought crazy taco woman" Hinoko said trying to hold her down.

"We all know she's here. So get over it. Now who is the smallest person here?" Tanka asked

"Rikku"

"well try to squeeze her through the door"

"Well she's in th back of the room, just bust down the door"

"I'd need room to do that"

"Well then you try to get through the door"

"My ass will get stuck if I try...what about if we stick all the guys in the stalls"

"Hm... that might work. ALL MALE PEOPLE IN TO THE STALLS"

"Yes ma'am" as all the guys went into the bathroom stalls there was finally enough room for them to open the door. As soon as they got the door open tenten was running down the hall saying Tanka was buying the tacos.

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An hour and a hundred and twenty four tacos later tanka was broke. She still could not fathom where tenten could put all that food not only did she eat twenty tacos by herself, but also ate four quesadillas and a burrito.

But now they had a new problem tanka was broke and they all had useless money.

Tanka looked at the pile of Gil, munny, and yen in front of her, "well munny is use less." chucks at Sora. "Gil well that's gold so we could sell it for the gold, and yen is real currency in this world so I can exchange it for American currency"

"well the next problem, where are we all going to live" Réyana stated.

"I. Have. No. FUCKING. Clue."

"Great. Well lets get looking for some transportation and shelter"

Just then a wrench came flying through the wall followed by a very small person with one arm, then his arm and a very angry girl. Finally a massive suit of armor.

Tanka smashed her head on the table. More random people now she had Ed, Al, and Winry. _great hat else could go wrong. _ No sooner did she think it, things got worse now a girl with shoulder length blondish hair and a jagged scar on her chin landed on her.

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**to warn you my 'w' is retarded so if there are any missing tell me**


	4. Chapter 4

RFUACX 4

**RFUACX 4**

**yayz now to our very confused, mildly retarded heros and their new problems.**

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_**recap**_

_Tanka smashed her head on the table. More random people, now she had Ed, Al, and Winry. Great what else could go wrong. No sooner did she think it, things got worse now a girl with shoulder length blondish hair and a jagged scar on her chin landed on her._

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Tanka grabbed the girl who landed on her by the hair and began to interrogate the poor girl, "What the hell are you doing here? And who the fuck are you?"

"Wah?... oh me... well I'm Majik. And I have no clue where I am. So I don't know why the fuck I'm here."

"Good enough answer. Okay now that we have eaten let's go get us a car... dose anyone know how to drive." She got a room of blank faces, "great now what are we going to do?"

"We," Hinoko started "walk around and look for a car, housing, and work"

"Eww" Neji whined

"Yes we have to work... maybe you can be a ballerina"

"Oh no... you went there" Hinata shouted. "Neji's childhood dream was to become a ballerina... and now you've brought back the memories...the horrible, terrifying memories"

All during this, Neji had been dancing like, well, a ballerina while everyone gave him a 'he's on crack' look.

"Well, then, let's start walking..."

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Meanwhile, at the local high school.

"SIERRA, SIE...AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIR. A" Screamed a girl on the roof of the building.

Another group of older girls down in the parking lot, looked up. "SYD WHY ARE YOU ON THE ROOF"

"I DON'T KNOW...BUT CAN YOU HELP ME DOWN...PLEASE...I'M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS."

"Kim, Heather, wait by the car I'll give you a ride home but I have a sister to get off the roof and strangle her." sierra sighed

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ten minutes later on the roof.

"How did you get up here."

"IDK my bff Jill"

"Damn fish. Let's go" she grabbed her sisters hood and dragged her down the stairs and out to the parking lot to her voltswagon mini bus that was painted black, red and silver. Just as they got to the car Syd got loose and ran up the hill.

"Where the hell is she going" sierra sighed as she started up her car and drove up the hill to see her sister glomping someone. Then she saw her alter ego standing next to the pair, shaking her head.

"Sydney, get off the demon. You don't where it's been." Sierra said, dragging her sister off Tanka.

"Hey I know _exactly_ where I've been" Tanka yelled, standing up.

"Yes, well I don't believe she was talking to you."Hinoko smacked her sister in the back of the head.

"Where is he?? Fangirl instincts tingling" Sydney stood looking for something, while Sierra held her by the arm.

"Oh, fuck, you can't be going on with your 'fangirl instincts' again??"

"...?" The rest of Tanka's party stood in the background, confused.

"HA FOUND YOU" And Sydney was running full sped at Tanka's party, which split, and she glomped Kiba. After she hugged him for a second, she jumped off and glomped Gaara, then was dragged off by Tanka, who started screaming at her, so Sydney started yelling back. They carried on until Anko came over and smashed their heads together, "Shut _up, _you're giving me a migraine"

They sat on the ground, rubbing their heads and glaring at each other. Ino piped up and said, "Hinoko, explain, me confused."

"Oh, well, that's a surprise," someone mumbled in a sarcastic tone.

Ino turned and screamed, "WHO SAID THAT?" Everyone pointed at Gaara, who laughed and said, "And what are you gonna do? Kill me? Go ahead, try" Ino stopped and Gaara laughed harder and said, "That's what I thought."

Tanka flung a kunai at Gaara and one at Ino, "SHUT IT Now Hinoko, continue."

"Don't worry about it"

"Good enough for me" Gaara shrugged

"Well sierra will you help us with our little problem we have nowhere to go"

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**tis teh** **end 4 now I be stuck so...help rxr**


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